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Ambrose Bierce

1842-1914. U.S. newspaperman, satirist, and short-story writer. Author of "The Devil's Dictionary"

Books by Ambrose Bierce

Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage.

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All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher.

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Optimism: The doctrine or belief that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly.

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Architect. One who drafts a plan of your house, and plans a draft of your money.

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They say that hens do cackle loudest when there is nothing vital in the eggs they have laid.

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Bride. A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.

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Erudition: Dust shaken out of a book into an empty skull.

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A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man, who has no gills.

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What is a democrat? One who believes that the republicans have ruined the country. What is a republican? One who believes that the democrats would ruin the country.

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Pray. To ask the laws of the universe to be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.

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