Josh Billings

When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.

Honesty is the rarest wealth anyone can possess, and yet all the honesty in the world ain't lawful tender for a loaf of bread.

The more humble a man is before God the more he will be exalted; the more humble he is before man, the more he will get rode roughshod.

Incredulity is the wisdom of the fool.

The trouble with most folks ain't so much their ignorance as knowing so many things that ain't so.

I honestly believe it is better to know nothing than to know what ain't so.

Knowledge is like money: the more he gets, the more he craves.

Life is short, but it's long enough to ruin any man who wants to be ruined.

Threescore years and ten is enough; if a man can't suffer all the misery he wants in that time, he must be numb.

Life consists not in holding good cards but in playing those you hold well.