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A funeral is a pageant whereby we attest our respect for the dead by enriching the undertaker.

Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914) American newspaperman and short-story writer.

Worldly faces never look so worldly as at a funeral. They have the same effect of grating incongruity as the sound of a coarse voice breaking the solemn silence of night.

George Eliot (1819-1880) British writer.

The chief mourner does not always attend the funeral.

Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882) U.S. poet, essayist and lecturer.

Funeral pomp is more for the vanity of the living than for the honor of the dead.

François de La Rochefoucauld (1613-1680) French writer.

Where a blood relation sobs, an intimate friend should choke up, a distant acquaintance should sigh, a stranger should merely fumble sympathetically with his handkerchief.

Mark Twain (1835-1910) U.S. humorist, writer, and lecturer.

The only reason I might go to the funeral is to make absolutely sure that he's dead.

Unknown Source

Some people never head a procession until they're dead.

Unknown Source